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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25235389">You can't outrun the lies</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emoslytherin04/pseuds/Emoslytherin04'>Emoslytherin04</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Escapism~ Fanfiction Version [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders &amp; Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Are Twins, F/M, Human AU, Logan and Patton are married, M/M, Original Character(s), Princey / original character, Thomas is single and happy, Virgil Angst, prompt, remile - Freeform, remus x being chaotic, sorry - Freeform, virgil is dumb</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 03:27:38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,911</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25235389</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emoslytherin04/pseuds/Emoslytherin04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Virgil makes a mistake with his boyfriend, Janus, and is so angry at himself that he runs away from his house and roommates in Florida to Washington. Years later. a knock on the door reveals the people he was trying to escape. Now he must face his mistakes.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders, Dr. Emile Picani/Sleep | Remy Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Escapism~ Fanfiction Version [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1915897</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>109</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gumdrop21/gifts">Gumdrop21</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h3>Part I</h3><p><em> Virgil walked alongside Janus, heart shuddering in his chest. They were in DC for a group trip, them being his roommates; Thomas Sanders, Logan Webster, Patton Keebler, Remus and Roman Romulus, Remy Starr, Emile Picani, Virgil's boyfriend Janus </em> <em> Menteur, and then him, Virgil Brenton. They had just finished dinner and Janus had slapped a few 20s down, told the others they’d meet back at the hotel, and with an encouraging look from Patton, snatched up virgil’s hand and swept him from the restaurant. Now, they were walking along the harbour, and with the way Janus was stiffened, Virgil’s already heightened anxiety was getting to an all time high. He tried to convince himself that his dreams were coming true, but his anxiety said a proposal was not possible, even with the 3-year relationship that had been going steady. </em></p><p>
  <em> “Virgil,” Janus said, as virgil turned away so he wouldn’t see his love’s face. </em>
</p><hr/><p>Virgil shot up, face covered in a slight sheen of sweat. He looked to his left and saw the empty spot next to him. His purple sheets were tangled around his legs and he sighed, lifting the grey comforter from its place on the floor as he untangled himself. He made his bed and looked over at his alarm clock. It was 9:00 and he panicked (like always) for a moment before he remembered that it was sunday and he didn’t work on Sundays until 12:00. He walked to his closet and pulled down a purple P!ATD tee and then grabbed some jeans from his dresser. He stepped into his bathroom and looked at the Amazon Echo Dot mounted by the outlet.</p><p>“Hey, Alexa,” He opened the shower and started the water, “shuffle my shower playlist,”</p><p>“Shuffling; ‘Shower Playlist’ from Spotify,” the robotic voice replied and he smiled to himself as Brendon Urie’s voice blasted through the speaker.</p><p>____[~.~.~]____</p><p>Virgil tied his hair back and made a mental note to get it cut the next day as he stepped into the kitchen. He washed his hands and tied his apron about his waist and started making some more cookies for him to take to work with him. The purple haired male worked at a bookshop, Books and Baubles, and he made sure to put cookies out on the cash register desk every day. He lived in a small town called Everly, just on the border of Washington and Idaho, where everyone knew everyone. Sometimes, he missed the constant heat of Florida, but the escape from his mistakes and the people he had known and -still- loved was a pleasant upside. He rolled the sugar cookie dough and laid it out on a pan, before putting it in the fridge. He picked up the dishes, and loaded the dishwasher while humming to himself. It was mid-spring, and he had the windows open to enjoy the weather and the smell that the woods brought into his home. He sang to himself as he started sweeping up the flour.</p><p>“Again you’re gone, off on a different path than mine…” he belted out the lyrics to a song from his favourite movie, smiling. He emptied the dustpan and then wiped down the counters. He heard a knock at the door and looked over at his fridge. He had nothing planned for today, though he had ordered a new ribbon for a typewriter he was restoring. The mailperson, and his personal favourite Nonbinary was probably at the door. He walked over and opened the door, smiling a closed-eye smile, “Hey Glenn,” he opened his eyes and his heart caught a snag in his chest.</p><p>“Virgil,” Janus breathed out and virgil slammed the door. He caught his breath, remembering the breathing exercises his therapist, Mika, had taught him. He opened it again, face pale and looked into the mismatched eyes of his old love. He looked over to see Logan, Remy, and Remus standing behind him. Remy lowered his sunglasses and looked Virgil dead in his dual coloured eyes.</p><p>“Well hello there, Virgil,” Logan said, pulling out his phone. He began texting and Virgil's heart started to race as he realised what that meant.</p><p>“Hey Bitch!” Remy said, smirking. </p><p>“H-hey” Virgil finally stammered out, “What are you guys doing here?”</p><p>“We’re here to see you, obviously,” Logan said, replacing his phone and shrugging, Janus shot him an agitated look. Remus’s smile finally got so big Virgil thought his face was gonna break and he shot past Janus and hugged the purple haired man.</p><p>“My favourite purp man! <em> This </em> is where you’ve been? I knew you’d love a tiny place like this!” he paused and looked at Virgil’s large house, “Well large place, but still! Have you hidden any bodies here?” He let Virgil go and darted around, investigating the largely wooded area, “Have you <em> found </em> any bodies?”</p><p>“What? No, what the fuck?” Virgil said, pressing his lips together, “No, I mean, Would you guys like to come in-?” A car screeched to a halt in his gravel driveway and it had barely stopped before the passenger door flung open and Patton came flying out, crying.</p><p>“VIRGIL! MY DARK STRANGE SON!” He flung himself at the tall male and Virgil stumbled backwards before catching himself on the door. </p><p>“Hey Patton,” He muttered into the dirty blonde hair of the closest thing he’d ever had to a father figure. He looked up to see the rest of his old friends piling out of Patton’s old red van. Emile walked up and smiled at virgil, before wrapping his arms around Remy. Virgil smiled a little, realizing the one couple he’d always wanted to see was a thing. Thomas and roman approached and the former waved enthusiastically. Roman looked like he was gonna cry.</p><p>“Hey, umm…” Virgil tried to find a nice way to tell Patton to let go of him. Logan reached over and lifted Patton by the armpits, sending a small smile of apology to Virgil. Patton made a pouty face at Virgil as he was lifted away by his husband. </p><p>“It’s been a very long time, Virgil,” Janus finally spoke.</p><p>“You are a very hard man to find when you want,” Roman said. </p><p>“Yeah!” Patton said from beside Logan, “You know how long we’ve been looking, Kiddo?” Virgil looked at the hash marks tattooed on his left wrist</p><p>“Three and a half years, dad,” Virgil said.</p><p>“No! Three and a- wait, yes.” Logan stopped and looked at him</p><p>“Believe it or not, I’ve been keeping count,” Virgil turned, leaving the door open behind him, “Come in, I guess,” He sighed darkly, trying to shut out his anxious thoughts.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. It ends with Janus on his knees</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Virgil introduces his friends to his housemate, only to be surprised that janus has bonded with them. Things happen, and Janus ends up comforting Virgil in his own special way.<br/>(I promise no NSFW, but if you read that as such, you have a tiny remus inside)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h3>
  <span>Part II</span>
</h3><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, you’ve been here for three years?” Patton asked, sitting in Logan’s lap. Logan was busy typing on the laptop from the bag Thomas had brought with him. He seemed very invested in what he was doing so Virgil made note to leave him alone. Virgil looked around his kitchen and tried to think of how it had come to this. He had done everything he could, bought a VPN, withdrew all his savings and put them in a new account, tracked down the most nowhere town </span>
  <em>
    <span>ever</span>
  </em>
  <span>, bought a house and paid it off upfront, changed his license plates from the moment he made it to washington, made a new email, left anything about his whereabouts off social media, </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything</span>
  </em>
  <span> he could off thought to do, he did. He thought he’d never see Janus again, and while the thought tore him apart night after night, his mind told him it was for the best.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <em>
    <span>Virgil looked out towards the water, his stomach filling with knots, his heart going cold. He braced himself for what was coming next, but let the love of his life speak. Janus cleared his throat, and took a breath.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Virgil, mon amour, we’ve been together for three years, 5 months, and almost exactly 23 days,” Janus was smiling as he came up behind virgil, “I know you’ve been able to sense my distance recently, and I understand, so, I’m going to explain myself,” </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>it’s happening,</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span> Virgil told himself,</span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em> it’s game over, he’s going to tell me there’s someone else, and that since he loves me as much as he does, he’s going to let me go</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>, “and I want you to know that je tres t’adore, tu es mon amour, et je ne peux pas imaginer ma vie sans toi,” Janus was speaking french, and virgil took a moment to try and understand it, but he hadn’t been studying like he told himself he would so he assumed the worst.  He knew it was his time to speak, or else he would be single the next time he spoke.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Listen, Janus,” he sighed, not looking back. If he had, he would have seen Janus pulling out a ring box, down on one knee, “I know where this is going, and I want to do this before you do, just…” Virgil sighed deeply and shoved his hands into his jacket pockets, “So, I think we are both in agreement that this isn’t going to work, so, Janus,” Virgil didn’t see his boyfriend’s face draining pale, becoming shocked, “It’s over, right?” Virgil spun around and his face went pale.</span>
  </em>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>“Sorry,” Virgil blinked, “My bad, what’s up?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I asked if this is where you had been living all this time?” Patton blinked and tilted his head to the side, “Is it, kiddo? It’s so sad and lonely…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I have been living here for about three years, but I haven’t been alone, I’ve got two pets,” He stood, turning around and gesturing for Patton to follow. He walked down the hallway, heading towards one of the 4 guest bedrooms, and opened the door.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello,” Janus said. Virgil looked at his ex-boyfriend, shocked. His pet snake, George Salazar Slytherin, was draped around his neck, and was… </span>
  <em>
    <span>cuddling(???) </span>
  </em>
  <span>him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the fuck is going on here?” Janus looked up, his eyes widened in surprise.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Umm, George and I were enjoying each other’s company,” Janus said. Virgil angrily walked over and reached his arm out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How in the name of all things cryptic did you find out his name?” George snaked(haha) over to his owner, leaving a small little kiss on Janus’s cheek as he went, “I for sure didn’t tell you,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Janus said calmly, pointing to his scales, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>he</span>
  </em>
  <span> did,” Patton squealed and virgil turned around.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You. Have. A. Snake!” He rushed over to the little yellow reptile and booped him on the nose, “So his name is George?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, George Salazar Slytherin, actually,” Virgil said, rubbing his neck sheepishly, “you know after Micheal from BMC, and the original slytherin?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, you can talk to snakes?” Logan said, entering the room to talk to Janus. Patton began babbling excitedly, and vigil tried to follow what he was saying, but then the others, save for remus-who was outside in the backyard doing urie knows what- walked in and joined the conversations. Patton started talking to Emile and Remy, while Roman gushed over George. Virgil was hit with sound from all sides, and had trouble focusing on any one sound. His vision got a little blurry, and he spaced out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So many people…” He muttered to himself, feeling his anxiety spiking. He was brought back by a hand on his arm, leading him out. He looked over to see janus walking with him, murmuring softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Virge, Breathe with me okay?” Janus’s breath blew softly across the male’s face, George slithered over to see his new friend, but Janus hissed softly under his breath, and George returned to his master. Janus’s breath smelled of sharp, cool mint, and he held his hands steady on Virgil’s upper arms. Virgil felt the temp change and realised he was outside as the sun hit his face. He heard Janus tell him to sit down and he did. “In,” Virgil took a deep breath, “out,” Virgil sighed outward. They repeated this a few times, with Janus sitting next to virgil and putting an arm around him, with George in his lap, wrapped around his hands. Virgil didn’t realise he had leaned in until Remus ran up. Janus motioned for him to be quiet and mouthed ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>anxiety attack</span>
  </em>
  <span>’. The brown haired male sat down, putting an arm encouragingly around Virgil.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey Emo,” Janus shot him a look, “Er, I mean, Virgil, It’s okay, all the people ARE INSIDE, and THEY WILL STAY INSIDE UNTIL YOU SAY YOU’RE READY,” Remus raised his voice and the front door closed quietly. Virgil sighed, remembering when the three of them would sit like this after school events or after he got into fights with his mother or siblings. It had always been knock-down drag-out with the former, and they always had spiked his anxiety as a teen. Finally, Virgil could see and hear clearly again, and the darkness in his mind faded. He breathed out and Janus, sensing he was fine, removed his arm. Remus held on a bit longer, but ended up letting go as well. George hissed at Janus, and Janus spoke.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He, umm,” He looked away, “Wants to know if he can come sit with me again,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Umm,” Virgil squeezed his eyes shut, “Yeah, sure,” he lifted his baby, and placed it gently into his ex’s lap. The snake  hissed happily and crawled up the man’s arm, curling around his neck and hissing again. They hissed back and forth in conversation, and Remus leaned over to watch, starry eyed. Vrigli couldn’t help but smirk a little at the cuteness of it all and then he was struck with an idea, “Hey, can George understand me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” Janus said and Virgil leaned over towards Janus's neck, whispering something very very quietly. Janus strained to hear but couldn’t. Then, George slithered out a bit, got level with Janus’s face, and stuck his tongue out slightly. Janus blushed, and Virgil could practically see the hearts in his eyes, before he stuck out his tongue in a similar fashion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Holy shit,” virgil muttered, trying not to let himself die from how cute it was. Janus blinked and looked over, eyes narrowing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If </span>
  <b>either</b>
  <span> of you say a word about this, I will </span>
  <em>
    <span>kill</span>
  </em>
  <span> you” he ground out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Haha too late,” Remus declared, flipping his phone around to show a picture, Janus looked absolutely adorable.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“George, go to Virgil, I have a twin to kill,” Janus laid George on Virgil’s head and stood. Remus laughed and shot off, screaming, with Janus chasing angrily after.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ll never catch me alive!!!” Remus cackled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>sssssurely </span>
  </em>
  <span>right” Janus hissed dramatically, finally tackling the green-clad man, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Take this!” Remus kneed him square in the crotch, and Jnaus crumbled, “Haha!” Remus ran inside and Virgil shot up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ha,” He laughed quietly to himself,  “okay, let’s get you inside” he helped Janus up, gratitude shining in the snakelike man’s eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey guys! I don't know what this was, but my inner remus was like, "you know what would be cool, right?" and I was like; What the heck? (I really tried my best and by god I really tasted something swell and for a moment why I even touched the sky and I surely left some stories they could tell)<br/>Anyways, I can't decide if Dee is a snake man or not yet, so I just gave him the ability to be a parseltongue for now</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. I don't want you to die trying to be everything for everyone else!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Welp, we get some not so happy pappy Patton.<br/>ALSO IF YOU GOT THAT REFERENCE I LOVE YOU MY DUDE <br/>COMMENT WHERE IT'S FROM AND I WILL GO KUDOS ALL YOUR WORK</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW!<br/>Implied self harm.<br/>NOTE~<br/>I struggled with this a lot for a long time, and I still do. I just want all of you to know that you can't try and be someone's therapist, it's bad for you!<br/>Please, help them get help instead. It's so much better when you know you have done your best but also haven't harmed yourself.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, just hold it there,” Virgil handed Janus an ice pack and the man only slightly nodded in thanks, wincing as he applied it. Everyone was gathered in the kitchen, save for Logan, and Thomas, who were going to the hotel room to get the suitcases, because Virgil has offered for them to stay with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>             “Good job, brother,” Roman snickered, Patton shot the prince a look and he went quiet. “sorry, padre,” he mumbled and it was remus’s turn to snicker. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>             “What led up to this, remus?” Emile and Patton asked at the same time. They looked at each other and smiled a little, then Patton turned on the </span>
  <em>
    <span>dad stare</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and Remus sighed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>             “Janus tried to take my phone cuz I got this </span>
  <em>
    <span>hilarious </span>
  </em>
  <span>picture of him and George,” remus snickered again. virgil looked down at the snake wrapped around Janus’s neck, and smiled internally.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>             “What is it?” Remy asked, amused. Remus pulled out his phone, and Janus looked down in frustration </span>
</p><p>
  <span>             “Oh. My. Stars!” Emile declared as remy turned an amused glance towards the man sitting at the table. Virgil leaned against the counter, arms crossed as he watched this all unfold. He saw the time said 10:47 and his heart stopped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shit!” He exclaimed</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“virgil!” Patton cried</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have work patton!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have work??” Roman seemed surprised </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well how the hell do you think I pay for this house, my car? My food?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, true,” the prince replied thoughtfully</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I need to get my cookies in the oven and then change,” virgil looked at Remus, “I’m gonna preheat, if Jan isn’t able to, put the cookies in the oven, you can have three slices of dough” Virgil fired off directions at remus who nodded and went to the sink to wash his hands and preheat the oven. Janus stood, and followed remus to the sink.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We got this, stormy, go get ready,” Janus said, washing his hands. Remus nodded and opened the fridge as Janus got a knife and a cutting board.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re trusting them to bake something without poisoning it?” Roman scoffed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Patton would burn it, remy wouldn’t give a shit, you can’t cook for shit, Emile is a perfectionist and would take too long,” Virgil stalked out, going to his room to get dressed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>[~.~.~.]</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Virgil was combing his hair out when he heard it, the voice he used to know and love singing from the kitchen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fly me to the moon,” Janus sang, sending chills up Virgils arms and a shiver down his spine, “let me play among the stars,” Virgil sighed as he remembered </span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Virgil!” Janus said smiling as the purple haired male walked into the kitchen.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hey Dee, I let myself in” he said, taking in how his boyfriend looked, his apron was covered in different stains, but his clothing was impeccable. He has a small bit of white powder, probably powdered sugar, in his hair and on his lip, “what are you making?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Blueberry pie with some homemade ice cream,” Janus said, crossing over to kiss him, “want to help?” Virgil thought for a moment,</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“If it means more kisses then I don’t see why not,” Virgil kissed Janus again and they both smiled.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>They baked, and worked in a perfect rythm, and when Virgil started singing to himself, Janus joined in.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Placing a smile at the perfect event”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Gracing you’re skin with the side of my hand</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>If I could ever learn to miss you</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>With sentimental boy as nom de plume</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Let me save you of this wrong </em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>I may never sleep tonight</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>As long as you’re still burning bright</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>If I could trade mistakes for sheep</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Count me away before you sleep</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>I’ll still wait till I trade mistakes</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>So they fade away</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>They sung in harmony, And Virgil couldn’t help but blush when Janus looked over his shoulder with a smirk, </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You’ve got a beautiful voice, stormy”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What? Nah, I wish I did,” Virgil handed Janus the filled pie and watched as he placed a lattice overtop, his fingers nimbly weaving the dough strips.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You’re not giving yourself enough credit,” Janus murmured as he slid the pic into the oven. Virgil shrugged.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I only give credit where it’s due,” he walked over to the sink and washed his hands. He felt arms wrap around him, and Janus leaned his head against Virgil's neck.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I love everything about you, including your voice, no matter how bad you may think it is,” Virgil leaned into his boyfriend, sighing and accepting this defeat, because he enjoyed this moment too much to let it go.</span>
  </em>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Virgil winced at the memory and sighed, putting his head in his hands as he sat in the bed. A knock at the door and he looked up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey kiddo,” Patton stood in the doorway, ”are you okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Virgil asked, “Uh, yeah,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Colour?” Patton asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sea foam,” Virgil replied Patton nodded and sat next to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to talk to Emile about it?” Patton asked. Virgil shook his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d rather not, can I talk to you, maybe?” Virgil grumbled out. Patton sighed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Listen kiddo, I’m not a therapist,” He hugged virgil, “I can listen but I’m not as good at helping you figure everything out like you probably want me to,” Patton smiled softly up at virgil, “I used to try and help everyone, doing [pretty much therapy sessions and video calls on the regular. It was bad for my mental health, and they weren’t getting the help they deserved. So, what I can do instead is offer a hug and the number for the right person to call.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wow Dad,” Virgil said, “That’s really good for you to acknowledge that,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have to thank Logan for it,” Patton said, scratching self-consciously at his binder left arm and Virgil noticed pinkish splotches, “I ended up hurting myself a lot when I saw all of you- and then just the others after you left- struggle. It didn’t help that I was worried for you,” Patton reared up a little, “I was so worried, Virgil, I missed you so much, I thought something bad had happened, even with your note you left for Janus,” Virgil Grimaced.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’m really sorry about that,” Virgil trailed off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you though?” Patton asked, looking virgil in his mismatched eyes, “Are you? Because you never once tried to contact me. It took logan years to find you like this,” Patton actually started crying, “What did we ever do to you? Why did you leave us so abruptly, and why couldn’t you let me s-say goodbye?” Virgil blinked in surprise.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Patton- I-“ He looked down and let out a sigh, “I broke up with Janus,” Virgil began</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why though? Why leave?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t let me finish,” Virgil grumbled, “I let my anxiety get the best of me and dumped him about ten seconds before I turned around to see him down on one knee,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh…” Patton said, “Well I </span>
  <em>
    <span>propose</span>
  </em>
  <span> that you didn’t like your decision?” He said cracking a small smile. Virgil gave him a deadpan look, “Sorry, I couldn’t help myself,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine,” Virgil said, “I have to go to work anyways,” He stood and let patton hug him. Then, he shrugged on his favourite jacket and walked with patton out to the kitchen. Janus was just finishing rinsing his hands, and he used his left foot to close the dishwasher.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Virgil, patton,” he said, and the water shut off, “The cookies are in a Tupperware, with a decorative plate underneath, I assumed that the cookies were for work,” He turned around, drying his hands and when he caught sight of virgil, his face morphed into one of shock. “That’s, my old hoodie,” He said, and patton whispered</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the fwuh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Virgil went red, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I accidentally grabbed it when I got all my stuff and returning it didn’t really you know, match what I was doing to turn around and you know, return it.” He said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You stole my hoodie,” Janus shook his head, and shouted, “REMUS YOU’RE OFF THE HOOK”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus’s head popped up, or moreso, down and he looked inside the window, hanging off the roof. He saw what virgil was wearing and laughed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ha! I told you emo stole it!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You were right,” Janus allowed, “but I know you stole my deodorant!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe~” Remus said before disappearing again. </span>
</p><p>
  <strong></strong>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. How does a ragtag volunteer army in need of a shower</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Virgil introduces his family to his coworker and best friend, my OC!<br/>yes I love Nymph<br/>Fight me!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Virgil parked outside of the bookstore and looked to his left as the van pulled up and Patton waved enthusiastically from the passenger seat. He sighed deeply and smiled a little before getting out of his car and closing the door. He walked up to the door and opened it up, the bell jingling a sound he had missed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Virgil!” Nymph  said from the counter, smiling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey Nymph,” Virgil said, sliding behind the counter next to them, “Just prepare yourself,” He laid out the plate and spread out the cookies, shooting a glance to the left as the door opened and Patton excitedly rushed in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi my name’s Patton! But you can call me dad, kiddo!” He said, practically vibrating in place.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi Patton!” Nymph said, sticking out their hand, “Nice to meet you,” Patton leaned over the counter and squished virgil in a bone crushing hug.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Patton, please, love,” Logan walked over again and removed his husband.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know him?” nymph asked, raising an eyebrow as everyone else filed in the small bookstore.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yup…” Virgil sighed, “Nymphadore, meet my family,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hiya!” remus shouted, “I have a question,” He held up a book, “How much would this cost? I’m hungry”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re gonna...eat it?” Nymph asked excitedly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Duh, do I look like I want to read?” Remus asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well I’m pretty sure the dictionaries taste better, I’ll give you twenty bucks if you can finish it in under an hour,” Nymph smirked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re on!” Remus disappeared down the shelves.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now,” Nymph turned their red-contact eyes on the rest, “I’m making sure you each leave with a book.” Virgil smiled and watched as they grabbed a shelving cart, went into the maze of shelves, and started plucking off books.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So this is where you work, huh?” Janus asked. Virgil turned to him and nodded, before he was hit with another memory.</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Wow,” Virgil breathed out as Janus smirked. Virgil pulled away from the laptop and looked up at his boyfriend, starry eyed. The chapter had been beautiful, and Virgil couldn’t believe it.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You like it?” Janus asked, raising an eyebrow and looking down at virgil.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Is purple my favourite colour?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Wait, really?” Janus smirked again, “I thought it was pink,”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yes you dumbass, I love it,” Virgil chuckled, leaning up to kiss him, “It’s so good.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I just got hit with this wave of inspiration and you know, just started creating,”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Well I love it,” Virgil said,  scrolling all the way back to the first page, “When are you gonna send it in?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Well, I wanted to okay the dedication with you first,” Janus scrolled to the second page where a dedication read: </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>to the light of my life, who without I would lose my way. I love you.</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span> Virgil teared up a little.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Are you sure you want to dedicate it to me?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“One day, I’m going to put my books in stores and I want everyone to remember how much I love you, even if they don’t remember anything else,”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Gods, you’re a hopeless romantic,” Virgil said, laughing as janus leaned down to kiss him</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You love it,” Janus said, smiling.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I love you.”</span>
  </em>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>“I’m baaack!” Nymph called, throwing their hand in the air with a smile. The cart had a lot of books on it and they wore a giant grin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So you think you can find us all books?” Remy asked, eyebrows raised.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I already have!” Nymph exclaimed happily. She held up a book on how to take the best selfies, and a reference map on how to easily find a starbucks anywhere and handed them to Remy, “For you!” Remy looked at it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Damn,” He flipped through the book excitedly. Nymph handed Logan a book on the three-body problem, which virgil had no idea what the hell that was (yes I just started watching criminal minds), patton a book on different puppy and kitten breeds, Emile a book on the development of ATLA and other famous nickelodeon cartoons, Janus a book on the writing process and how to better develop characters, Thomas a how to book on dancing, singing and acting in musical theatre. Finally, she handed roman a huge tome on the creation of hamilton and the entire script.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t!” Roman cried, looking at it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ohohoho but I did!” Nymph smirked, shooting him a wink. Roman  just about swooned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your makeup is on point,” Roman said as nymph slipped behind the counter and snagged a cookie. Patton recognized Roman’s pinked cheeks, and grabbed Logan's hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The books are on me, my dudes,” Nymph said before diving headfirst into a conversation with roman. The two talked excitedly, exchanging song snippets and facts about each other as Virgil sighed. He wasn’t surprised, Nymph and roman were a good pair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Virgil smiled a little as everyone disappeared into the aisles and it was only him and Janus.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. the thoughts of past lovers, they always haunt me.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In this book...Roman rethinks his sexuality.<br/>But not yet.<br/>First....<br/>We have to set the stage.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Janus looked at his hands and then up at virgil.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I sent the manuscript in about 6 months ago,”  Janus finally said, “I- uhh, thought you’d want to know,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really? Did you just do it for the slush pile or..?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Logan knew an agent and she got me to a publisher,” janus said, tugging self-consciously on his black blazer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So?” Virgil picked up a cookie and started to eat it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It goes on shelves next month,”  Janus said and Virgil coked on his cookie.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? Really? Janus that’s great!!” Virgil's eyes lit up and Janus blushed, smiling softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So...did you change the dedication at all?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah a little,” Janus said, “I made it more specific,” this hurt virgil but he hid it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh really,” Virgil said, looking down to fiddle with the cash register, “who?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh,” Janus turned bright red, “You see-“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Guys!” Roman emerged from one of the aisles, “I think I’m in love,” he whispered. Virgil shook his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, that’s Nymphadore, my best friend,” He explained, “They’re 22, non binary, and they pretty much run the local theatre,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’re a theatre nerd too?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And,” Virgil smirked, “They sing under the alias Songbyrd,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No way, they’re a </span>
  <em>
    <span>musician</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” Roman swooned at this and Janus rolled his eyes,  “They really are cool! They’re grabbing me a copy of this book I’ve been looking for, but I need to know if they’re single!’ Roman looked over to Virgil with a stern look as Logan appeared with patton at his side.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Roman!” Nymph emerged as well, “I found what you were looking for!’ They held up a book on screenplay writing and production, “It was in my backpack,” They held up their cheeseburger backpack and Roman squealed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that-?” He practically had stars in his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You bet!” Roman jumped up and down, fangirling over his apparent soulmate as Virgil and janus exchanged humoured looks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re we…” Virgil began</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This bad? Gods, I hope not,” Janus finished.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You weren’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span> bad,’ Logan muttered, “But you guys were pretty unbearable at times,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We can’t talk, Lo,” Patton interjected, “Remember when we got back from our honeymoon?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh gods,” Janus and Virgil both cringed at the memory, “The whole hallway heard you two,” Janus stated and Logan went red.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All of you..?” Logan’s eyes were wide and he looked petrified.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean…” Patton said, “We were pretty loud,” The short blonde male shrugged, pulling out his book on animals that Nymph had gotten him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How are you so calm about this?!?” Logan cried, hands flying to his face as Patton chuckled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because I don’t care,” Patton shrugged.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gods, you guys </span>
  <em>
    <span>totally aren’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> making me sick right now,” Janus hissed and Virgil laughed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For once I agree with snake-face over here,” Janus smirked, and Virgil paled as the bell jingled and a very familiar face walked through the door. He was short, with an aura of softness around him and his face lit up when he saw the tall emo behind the counter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh shit…” Virgil whispered.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hey Virgil?” Janus asked. They were lying in bed, Virgil’s back to Janus’s chest. Virgil was wearing Janus’s tee shirt and Janus was just wearing his nightmare before Christmas Pajama pants.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yeah?” Virgil asked sleepily. Shooting a glance to the clock, he noted that it was 3am.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Do you ever think about the possibility that someone could take my place?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What? At work?” Virgil was tired and felt dumb.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“In your life….” Janus trailed off, holding virgil closer. Virgil melted into his hold, enjoying how he felt in that moment.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“No, never,” Virgil said seriously, “No-one will ever hold me the way you do, love me the way you do.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“But what if we break up, or I die?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Then I guess I better learn to hold someone, cuz this,” Virgil gestured vaguely to their position, “This is reserved for one person and one person only,” Virgil twisted his head and kissed janus, “You,”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I just, I wonder how I’ll survive without you there to keep me warm,” Janus murmured.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Heat lamps,” Virgil said simply and janus laughed.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Janus sighed, “but promise me that if anything ever happens, You’ll try and find happiness again,” Virgil sighed at his boyfriend’s statement.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yes, I promise, now can I go back to sleep? I’m exhausted,” Virgil gronde.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yes, my love, sleep,” Janus whispered and then began softly singing to virgil in french. Before long, they both were asleep.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I was halfway through the next chapter, when I realised something.<br/>I forgot a flashback! So it’s a little rushed, but it’s turnout is okay.<br/>This chapter is dedicated to @3yearsofresolvewasted for their wonderful comments and support! Thank you so much my dude!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Baby we built this house on memories</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>We finally see the second side of what happened</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h3>
  <span>Part VI </span>
</h3><p>
  <span>“Virgil!” The man who spoke was nearly as short as Patton, standing at just 5’6” with magenta hair and neon teal eyes. He smiled softly and nodded to the customers, “you busy?” Virgil took a shaky breath and chewed his lip, making Janus worry who this person was and why Virgil had such a reaction to their presence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kinda…” He gestured to the 6 people, “You already know Nymph, but this is… some of my family,” The short man blinked, his pale skin pinking, as he realised all of the handsome people were here for his friend.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Hi Virgil’s family!” He stuck out his hand and shook with everyone there, “I’m Alabaster, Virgil’s boyfriend!” Janus went pale and felt like he was going to be sick.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well hello,” He said, sickeningly sweet, “I’m Janus, Virgil’s old...friend,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m Patton, but you can call me Dad, Kiddo!” Patton shot Alabaster a closed eye smile and alabaster giggled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, Dad,” Alabaster’s voice was soft and he smiled a lot. Janus felt a mixture of hurt, angry, sad, disgusted, and confused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Logan, pleasure to meet you,” Logan nodded curtly, “May I ask about the contacts and the glasses?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Alabaster giggled, “I have plain black eyes, and I like to, you know</span>
  <em>
    <span> spice things up</span>
  </em>
  <span> a little! But I do need the glasses,” Alabaster smiled a little. He was wearing a light blue oversized t-shirt- which Janus recognized as one of Virgil’s, and the snakelike man bit back a spiteful remark. Alabaster wore dark  grey leggings and had a pale pink plaid shirt tied around his waist. He looked over at Janus and he changed from happy to concerned, “Hey, are you okay?” He asked janus and janus held back a grimace.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just..</span>
  <em>
    <span>dandy</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” He muttered and straightened his blazer. With a tip of his fedora, and a smiled he made for the door, “I think it’s high time I go explore this small town,” He said, “Remus!” He called and Remus came out, chewing on the cover of the now-eaten dictionary.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re leaving?” He asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Virgil needs to introduce his boyfriend to the others,” Janus said smoothly, really just wanting to sneer. Remus caught sight of Alabaster and his eyes widened.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who, this fucking puffball?  He looks like the nerd who cussed once in third grade and tattled on himself… He probably listens to Alec Benjamin and his parents are super-supportive of his gayness,” Remus’s lip curled slightly, “He’s a candy gay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A- wh- excuse me?” Virgil asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s a candy gay,” Remus explained through a final mouthful of dictionary, “He’s too sweet for his own good and is pretty much the most Uber-sub ever. He’s pretty much patton without the suicidal and depressive tendencies,” Patton flinched and Logan’s lip curled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s enough Remus.” He said and Nymph looked up from where they and roman had been sitting on the floor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey Al!” They said, awkwardly waving.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m uh, gonna head out now,” roman said, noting the tension and Nymph looked at the wall clock, standing up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My shift was up 10 minutes ago, wanna get a tour?” The rainbow-haired enby asked and stuck a hand out for roman to grab and pull himself up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, Yes?” Roman asked in a </span>
  <em>
    <span>duh</span>
  </em>
  <span> tone and he laughed, grabbing their hand and standing. He didn’t let go and they left the store in a flurry of goodbyes. Janus nodded curtly and opened the door for remus, who shot one more disgusted look towards Al before he and Janus left. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So,” Remus asked, hands in his pockets, “Emo has a boyfriend now…” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s not discuss it, Remus,” Janus muttered, grimacing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Janus!” Roman called from ahead of them, “Come join us! Nymph is saying there’s this coffee shop you’ll like!” Janus sighed and shrugged.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Definitely not interested</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he lied and roman smiled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He said yes, Nym!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes!” Nymph pumped their fist in the air, hand still interlocked with roman’s as they all entered a cafe.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <em>
    <span>Janus opened the door to his apartment, eyes wide.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Virgil!?!” He called, frantic, “Are you here, my love??”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Virgil’s stuff was all gone. Janus ran from room to room but nothing was there. He selling his door open and fumbled for his key to Virgil’s old apartment. His hands were shaking as he jammed the key into the lock, “Virgil??” He cried, opening the door. Everything was gone, save for the furniture and  some hangers. Janus searched the entire place and he heard footsteps behind him.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Janus?” Patton whispered, voice choked.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What?” Janus asked sharply.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I… uh there’s  a note on the counter,” Patton said and Janus slung himself into the kitchen.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“No,” Janus whispered as he picked it up with shaking hands, “please no virgil, please be alive just please don’t be a suicide note,” Janus opened it and his breath caught n his chest as he read.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“WHat does-“ remus began</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Shhhhh,” Logan said, watching Janus’s face flicker between emotions before he set the folded piece of paper down on the counter, crying.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“He’s-“ janus was racked by emotions so strong he didn’t know what to say, “He’s-“ Janus broke down, slowly lowering himself to the ground.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Gone,” Logan whispered as he also finished the note. Patton snatched it up and read it aloud, sobbing.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“</span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>Dear everyone,</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>I’m sorry but I have to go. </em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>After what I did, I need some time to rethink myself. I fucked up, and I’m sorry. I love all of you so much. </em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Don’t bother looking for me, I’m long gone. Sell my stuff, sell my apartment, I’m sure someone will find good use for it. I am still alive and well, and am not dead. I just need some time to soul search. </em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Janus, Patton, Remus, Thomas, Remy, Roman, Logan, Emile, I love you all. Tell Joan and Talyn I’m sorry we can’t go to the Carolina Rebellion like we planned, I’m so sorry. I love you guys and This is my fault. I’m an idiot who fucked up a good thing before it got better.</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>This is </em>
  </b>
  <b>
    <em>not</em>
  </b>
  <b>
    <em> your fault, It’s mine and mine alone which is why I’m leaving.</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>By the time you’ve read this, I’m probably already ¼ of the way to where I am going. So I’m long gone and following me is a useless endeavour.</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Goodbye everyone, I love you.</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Forever emo,</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>~Virgil”</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span> Patton finished reading, “that’s it he’s actually,” Patton sobbed.  Eventually, everyone left the apartment, save for Janus, who stayed curled on the floor, sobbing. He hated himself because he knew virgil had been anxious and he had taken too long to save their relationship.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The next few months were excruciating for Janus and he ended up writing a whole book in that time. It was titled </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>Ramblings of a dead man’s mind from the mouth of a near dead prostitute.</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span> And was a New York Times bestseller. Janus wrote it under an alias about a Prostitute named Micca who loses the love of her life after the woman disappears one night. She begins finding these little notes from the woman whom she loved, all written before she disappeared. It ends with Micca ending her life because she can’t deal with the grief of the woman being gone. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Janus based so many of the scenes off his own personal reactions to Virgil’s departure.</span>
  </em>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>“Janus!” Roman muttered and Janus looked up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes?” He asked, broken from his train of heart-wrenching memories.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We need to talk,” Roman looked up and watched as the bathroom door closed and Janus noted that Nymph was gone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think I-“ Roman bit his lip, “I don’t think I’m gay,’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you?” Remus inquired, eating a bowl of straight whipped cream.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think I might be bi….” Roman didn’t seem to feel comfortable with what he was saying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus nodded in understanding, “It’s stil okay to be gay if you love someone who’s not a guy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I- what?” Roman laughed, “Whatever do you mean?” He asked falsely confident.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s obvious you’re head over heels for Nymphadore,” Janus stated, sipping his tea.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?” Roman deflated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really,” Janus said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yup,” Remus said, starting to gnaw on the cardboard bowl, “Just ask them out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yup,” Janus nodded, before standing. He walked out and looked towards the bookstore. Virgil’s car was gone, and so was the van. Janus’s phone dinged and he looked down, his phone was reminding him of an unread text.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Hey, we went back to the house with Alabaster and Virge, we texted Nymph and they offered to give you three a ride back to the house, although your car is still at the hotel if you want to grab it</b>
</p><p>
  <span>It was from Thomas.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Just got your text, I’m gonna grab some new writing stuff and then I’ll stay at the hotel for tonight</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus texted and then shoved his phone into his pocket. He crossed to the bookstore and opened the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi!” A voice called and Janus turned around to see a young girl with glasses and a tan trench coat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello,” Janus tipped his fedora in her direction, “My name’s  Janus, do you happen to have any copies of </span>
  <b>Ramblings of a dead man’s mind</b>
  <span>?” Janus asked. The girl’s eyes lit up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know it?” She asked excitedly. Janus smirked a little.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Know it? I wrote it”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No way, your name is janus and-“ He face blanked, “Ohhhhhhh that makes sense! Sanuj is just Janus backwards!” She reached into her pocket and pulled out a small, slightly worn but well taken care of copy of his book and he smiled a little as she opened it to the author page, lifting it up to compare janus’ face with the picture inside.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have I gotten the all clear?” He asked amuse fly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Holy shit! It </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> you!” She smiled wide, “Could I-“ he nodded and she produced a sharpie.He signed the book with a smile and she fangirled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I need some writing stuff, where’s the stationary?” She pointed  to the back left of the store and he disappeared into a maze of shelves.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Ouch this hurt to write.<br/>I shuffled Virgil’s playlist and wrote this and the last chapter all in one sitting.<br/>Woop.<br/>Anyways, never hesitate to comment your opinions!<br/>&lt;3 you!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Whether near or far, I'll always be yours.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>You Can't Outrun The Lies comes to an end.<br/>Like all good things, this story must end.<br/>In the finale, Janus comes to terms with his emotions, Remus eats stuff he's not supposed to, and we see how Janus planned the proposal.<br/>Also, you will probably hate me for the end.<br/>Not sorry</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Guys?” Patton asked as Janus sipped his wine.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Mhmm?” Janus looked over to the head of the table. Everyone was at Patton’s enjoying weekly dinner.  It was a weekly thing, ‘</span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>like the Gilmores!</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>’ Emile had said when Patton had proposed the idea. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“As you know,” Patton said, smiling wide, “Logan and I were put in charge of holding the funds for the DC trip,” Janus reached under the table and held Virgil’s hand, excited at what this meant (although his face didn’t show it), “And last night, janus put in about $100. That pushed us to our goal, and unless it conflicts with anyone’s schedule that we don’t know about, we are going the week of the cherry blossom festival,” Patton finished, clasping his hands together happily. Janus’s mind started running, Spring would be perfect, with the sunset and the cherry blossoms and- he looked over at virgil and they smiled at each other. Yes, spring would do nicely.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>____</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Janus knocked upon roman’s door, biting his lip.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Heeeell- oh,” Roman sung, then stopped abruptly “Janus, what do you need?” Roman asked suspiciously.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Wow roman, I love the boots, I definitely am not tired of seeing those black heels,”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Enough flattery, Dr Hackles and Mr Lies,” Roman said, raising an eyebrow.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I need yours and Patton’s help,” Janus said, and scoffed at the redhead’s amused look, “listen as much as it delights me to be here, I wouldn’t have come if I didn’t need advice,”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“On what?” Roman asked, leaning in the doorway with a humoured look on his face. Janus sighed reluctantly.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Rings,”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“For who?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“My mom,” Janus deadpanned</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“But aren’t you an orphan?” Roman asked</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Gosh roman, you’re so smart!” Janus gushed sarcastically, “Who do you think?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Virgil?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Of course, who else would I propose to?” Janus whispered.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You’re proposing!?!’ Roman exclaimed and janus shoved him into the apartment, hissing, “Sssshut up!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What?” Roman asked, confused.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“It’s supposed to be a surprise, you insolent prince!’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Ohhhhhhhhh,” roman said, “Why?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Janus facepalmed.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>_____</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What about this one?” Roman said, pointing to a black diamond ring.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Too feminine,” Janus remarked, running his gloved hand along the counter as he looked into the display cases. It was the 15th store he had been to, and he was only here because Patton said a small Pawn shop such as this may have something nice for cheap. His eyes caught something from across the store, and his breath caught.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Guys, look at this,” He said, walking over in three long strides. It was about a ½ inch thick, with a small purple gem inlay, and was a dark gunmetal gray.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Woah, Kiddo! That’s definitely something he’d like!” Patton gushed, electric blue painted nails flashing in the light as he clasped his hands together in front of his lilac polo.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“It’s very…. not sparkly,” Roman admitted, “but it is nice looking,”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Excuse me, Ma’am?” Janus asked, and a young woman approached, smiling.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yes, dear?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What metal is that made of? And what’s the size?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“It’s a size 7, and it’s made of silver. And those are real diamonds,” She said, removing it from the case. Janus looked at it.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“May I?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Of course!” The woman said, handing it to him.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“How much?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“It’s $1000, but I can give you a fifty percent off since it’s been sitting in here for a decade,” she laughed. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Do you take card?” Janus asked.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> Janus’s phone rang and he answered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Janus,” Virgil said, “What’s up? Did I do something to piss you off?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Piss off isn’t a very descriptive term,” Janus began.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, let me stop you there, did i do something to make you upset?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you do something worthy of my dislike?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I- uhhh, Listen, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Al, but I didn’t see the right time, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is there a wrong time to say you’re romantically  involved?” The line went silent for a while, “that wasn’t a rhetorical question,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I, Janus, I’m sorry, It was stupid of me to not let you know about my boyfriend.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, Virgil, it was not stupid to use the art of deception to mask things you don’t want people to know. You were smart and ran away. I was the idiot who followed you,” Janus muttered into the phone, “Now, please, enjoy your evening with </span>
  <em>
    <span>Alabaster</span>
  </em>
  <span>, I’m sure he’s awaiting your return as </span>
  <em>
    <span>eagerly</span>
  </em>
  <span> as the rest,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I-“ Virgil began, and then Janus hung up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He opened the door to the Cafe, where the other three were still at, and remus looked up at him with a grin, munching on a bowl of coffee beans.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey snake-face!” Remus said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh hi janus!” Nymph said, waving enthusiastically, “What’s wrong?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m in desperate need of some very good, </span>
  <em>
    <span>very</span>
  </em>
  <span> pricey wine,” Janus said, sitting across from them, “Know of anywhere that could provide such amenities?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, my roommate, Sempre’s parents are </span>
  <em>
    <span>loaded</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and her mom sends her a 6-pack of expensive shit from Italy or France every month or so,” Nymph shrugged, “She should be closing up soon, and if we leave now, we could meet her at the house. You guys could grab however much you want, and then roman and I were talking about hanging by the pool at my apartment building. We live out in town, an hour or so from here, not far from the hospital and the mall and all that jazz,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can compensate you for the wine if you need,” Janus offered. He didn’t like to admit it, but the European pre-release of his next novel had brought in a lot of cash, along with the fact that </span>
  <b>Ramblings of a dead man’s mind</b>
  <span> was being made into a movie. He was very wealthy now, although he put most of the money away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And I can give you the candles I promised,” Nymph offered to Remus who nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You guys want to join us by the pool?” Roman asked, and his eyes cried </span>
  <em>
    <span>Please don’t leave me alone or I may say something stupid</span>
  </em>
  <span>, “You’re very welcome,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course! Maybe i can roll Janus into the pool when he’s too drunk to fight back and drown him!” Remus laughed hysterically.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“As enjoyable as that sounds,” Janus said, “I don’t think I’m getting that drunk,” He sighed, “I think I’ll get so drunk I’ll die before you can kill me,” He nodded to Nymph and roman, “Are you guys ready to go?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dude, are you alright?” Nymph asked as they left, falling behind with the tall man.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“As wonderful as possible, darling,” Janus said smoothly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, yes, I see,” Nymph said, “V didn’t tell you about al, did he?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>V</span>
  </em>
  <span> didn’t tell you about </span>
  <em>
    <span>us</span>
  </em>
  <span> did he?” Janus retorted calmly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Actually, he did,” Nymph said, “He cried when he told me the part about turning to see you down on one knee,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let me guess, he told you right after he got here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, actually, he told me a month ago,” Nymph said, “After his one-week anniversary with Al,” They looked up, craning their neck to look at the scaly faced man. “I know you may not want to talk about it, but I think it might be beneficial for you to tell someone,” Janus sighed and looked down at them as remus and roman argued ahead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I still love him, as much as it hurts to do so,” Janus admitted, looking ahead. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Nymph said, smiling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I actually brought the ring,” Janus sighed, “I thought maybe if I could find him, and tell him how much I still loved him, he’d remember that he loved me too,” Janus pulled a chain out from under his shirt and showed nymph the ring he’d proposed to virgil with on the chain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Woah, Virgil said it was pretty but </span>
  <em>
    <span>damn,</span>
  </em>
  <span> that’s nice!” Nymph said, giving it an appraising look. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I spent 6 months looking for it,” Janus said, replacing it, “i carried it with me for all these years, hoping he’d be found,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s so sweet,” Nymph said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now, enough about me,” Janus said, realising how comfortable he felt with Nymph, and disliking it, “How about you and Prince Airhead?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ha, do you think I’m actually getting somewhere with him?” Nymph looked down at their hand, twisting a fidget ring on their right ring finger, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Trust me,” Janus said, “That idiot is head over heels for you, literally, he wears those damn heeled boots like every day,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?” Nymph laughed and roman turned back to look at the pair, and Janus quickly spotted the jealousy and concern in his eyes. Janus was positive roman meant well, but he decided to play with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You see that?” Janus whispered in the short enby’s ear, “See roman’s posture? See how stiff he is, and how his fists are clenched, how tight his jaw is?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How he keeps shooting looks at us? And how angry he looks?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah…?” Nymph said, catching on, “Wait,” she whispered back, “is he...</span>
  <em>
    <span>jealous?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of me, for hanging out with you,” Janus explained, pulling away, “Roman may not seem like it, but he’s a very territorial creature. He has fallen for you, and he becomes jealous when others hang around you in a seemingly close or intimate matter,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait does he take this as intimacy?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No but he can sense that I am forming an emotional bond with you, and he severely dislikes it,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, well maybe I should go, you know, hang out with him?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just a heads up, he’s a bottom,” Janus said, before striding to catch up with the others and leaving a spluttering Nymph behind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>______</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, do you want to go get in the pool?” Remus asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not now, remus, I need to go for a walk,” Janus stood, somehow not swaying despite his high level of intoxication.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Remus said, staying put, “I’ll get up eventually, just don’t die okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll do my best,” Janus deadpanned and walked away. His head was full of thoughts he couldn’t repress in this state. Virgil had a boyfriend. Janus had no right to be mad about that, right? So why was he so mad? Why did he want to steal Virgil away, shower him with affection, and remind him who really loved him? Why did he feel sick when alabaster introduced himself? He should be happy for virgil, because he loved virgil, but he couldn’t. He loved virgil and he didn’t want to imagine his life without him. He still had the ring, for urie’S sake. He had thought that maybe if he could find virgil, he could apologise and they could pick up where they had left off. They would be together again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janus was so deep in his thoughts, he didn’t hear the screeching of tires until he felt himself go flying.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Wow, this story has been super fun to write. I love all of you guys so much for being so supportive and kind!<br/>Your comments have made this entire experience just wonderful, and I'm so happy to tell you that this is not the end.<br/>This is just Book 1.<br/>Tuesday of next week, the prologue of The InBetween, the sequel to YCOTL, will be posted!<br/>Thank you all so much for staying with this little project of mine!<br/>Lots of luv<br/>~your author</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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